Emotional Investment is like this . . .

I have long been a connoisseur of relationship growth and an aspiring student of life. However, it was not until I experienced relationship trauma triage that I began to discover the importance of what I call “choice investment”. In other words, who or what you give emotional investment to is a choice!

Although I have completed a vast amount of childhood and family dynamic discovery, it was not until recently in this 50 year life of mine that the light switch came on. I realized that my family gives me energy! Wow, what an interesting concept, huh? But, it’s true! Given the inordinate amount of pain and consequential personal growth I had experienced in my life, I was finally able to put “two and two” together. Given the blessing of my family (they say you can’t choose your family, but if I had the chance to, I’d choose mine), why did I invest in someone/something that took soooooo much energy away from me? In fact, to a point of near destruction? Answer: my blessing of assigning goodness to others became my curse.

So, here goes . . . when it comes to deciding (yes, you should make this a decision) who and what you invest your energy in, stop and take a timeout. Pause for a moment. Take a deep breath.

Listen to your body and ask the question, does this person/place/thing give or take energy from me? Emotional investment!

  1. Do they or it cause me to question myself?
  2. Do I feel stress in my body, mind or my spirit?
  3. Do I want to give my energy to this person, place or thing?

Above all, emotional investment starts with what you are willing and able to give. In other words, be a giver first. Giving energy or adding value to those you encounter should always be the mantra of mutually fulfilling relationships. First, be a giver! Second, make a decision. Does that person cause you pain? Do they take energy away from you? Do they add value to your life? Do they guard your heart alongside you? As my good friend would say, is there an equitable exchange?

Last, remember this! Investing in energy takers will cause you pain and eventually your mental and physical health. Be mindful. Make your decision intentionally. It’s your decision to whom or what you become emotionally invested in!

Your next life is your best life!